To My So-called Best Friend

4/22/2007

8:10PM Sunday

Matt,

I'm writing this letter knowing that you'll never be able to read it. Knowing that whatever's written here would be read by other people but not you gives me a kind of quiet comfort. Maybe for some weird chance of fate you'll stumble upon this, then just read it and understand.

I don't know how to begin to tell you the truth. <sigh>

I know that you have a lot on your mind. Truthfully, I am not even sure you're playing or even lying through your teeth. But I take everything that you're saying as truth. I tried to understand. Honestly, I did. But I cannot take it anymore! I am so stressed about it.

You told me I was your friend.. Your best friend. I guess I'm supposed to understand your weird quirks, your mood swings.. God! You change moods a lot frequently than I do. I guess everything's always been about you. Your problems i.e. your GF that got stuck in Dubai, your mom, your sister in Singapore, your work. You. YOU. Always YOU.

Maybe it's because you used to treat your best friend as a shock absorber. A sounding board. But it goes both ways, Matt. It's not only one-sided. Por que, I don't have anything to do with my time, it doesn't give you the right to just pick me up when I'm needed.

Call me selfish but this time, I dearly wish that you think about me. You tell me you don't want to lose our friendship but Best, I believe you're not even doing anything to keep me. Not a single thing. And that makes me sad. Personally, I am a giving person but there comes a time that I want to be selfish too. I may not have the same problems such as yours. I may not have the same responsibilities such as yours. You may think that I am making too much out of nothing but it's not nothing to me.

I guess here's to hoping that you'll understand why everything has to change. Our friendship may or may not end. The ball's in your court.

Frances

It must’ve been the beer talking..

<sigh>

Let me start off this one with a sigh again.

Woke up at around 11am and started texting the day away. The sun wasn't that hot and it was really good to burrow in my pillows (I have a lot). I needed the sleep. Checked my phone. Matt wanted to wake me up because I see "1 missed call" in my call logs. Also a text message saying "Gcing na best!" Luckily, I had my phone turned to SILENT. So I was able to basically text other people. I charged my phone and while it was being charged, toink! Naghang! ARRGGHH! Now since I am a tech support agent, syempre troubleshoot the issue. It worked. But then I had to get out of my very comfortable bed and go to GLOBE Ali Mall to get the thing looked at. I then proceeded to waste my time waiting for my number to be called at BRIGHTPOINT so that they could fix the damn thing under warranty. The girl at the helpdesk told me that I needed to have it reflashed or the firmware updated. I said OK, and asked how long it'll take. She told me I would have to come back for my phone the next day. I told her I'll have it reflashed tomorrow since I cannot live without my phone.

Matt texted me that afternoon while I was on my way home asking me to call him up. I replied that I'll call him when I get home but he didn't wait. He called me up instead. He said, "Best, lasing ako!" .. OK .. And in which he proceeded to ask me if I love him (?) which I answered YES and then he proceeded to ask WHY?  

WHY? Why do I love him? Is it just words that I had to say so that he won't ask anymore? Or is it because I really mean it? So I answered him as honestly as I can, "I don't know."

<sigh>

He answered it for me. He said it's because magaan ang loob ko sa kanya. Maybe.

Then the question, "Best, will you marry me?" Errr..

Mahirap makipag-usap sa lasing! Promise!

Reggae Days and Bob Marley

Time check: 6:22PM