.. dazed and confused ..

I'm in the office. Had a very eventful weekend! Promise! <wink>

Met Matt yesterday evening for dinner. Finally met the guy who's the boon and bane of my existence. We were supposed to meet at around 8PM but unfortunately he got stuck in traffic. Muntik pa syang mawala. In any case, he got to our frontgate around 9PM. Finally. I get to meet my so-called best friend.

Matt is tall. Skinny tall. He's 6'1". He was wearing a striped polo tee, jeans and flipflops. He was driving an old Toyota Corolla. Yung box-type. But it was well-maintained. His car smelled nice.

We ate at Adobo Republic. Yung sa may Metrolane Complex sa 20th Avenue. Then we drove around and went to Riverbanks where we sat on the grass at nagpalamok! Hahahah.. it was nice spending the night with Matt. He was full of laughter contrary to the previous conversations that we've had over the phone wherein he was oftentimes morose and despondent even. It was a welcome change. <smiles> We didn't talk about his problems. We didn't talk about mine. We just talked and laughed. Yeah.. Laughed. <smiles>

We went home early. The car was acting up. So tumambay na lang kami sa bahay. Tito Vanni made this bamboo bench for us some time ago. He painted it white. We just sat there again and talked about a lot of things. Matt never failed to make me laugh that night. He wrapped his arms around me. Hugged me and kissed my forehead. Kissed my cheeks, the tip of my nose… Then he kissed me on the lips. Not the quick smack reserved for friends. But the seeking, coaxing kiss of lovers. <sigh>

And then he said, "Sama ka sa akin Best sa Singapore.. "  which he's been saying like forever. And then, "Best, pakasalan mo ako."

..OK..

I want to believe what he's saying. I really want to believe. But I know that he doesn't mean it. Any of it. <sigh>

What are words anyway?

I wanted to ask what was that kiss all about.. And all he could say was "Sorry." But I don't believe he is.

I wanted to ask him a lot of questions but Deedee says it's too soon for him to give me an explanation. I guess I need to give him more time to sort things out within himself before I do ask my questions. But then again, I NEED to know where I stand in his universe. Am I his sun or just another star in his orbit?