teardrops

Taylor Swift - Tear Drops on My Guitar

This is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world.. Sounds familiar? Yep. From the lines of a song.. Can’t remember which though.. But if truth be told and I am again saying this in all honesty — this is MY story. Yeah. The whole sordid lot of it.

The whole thing began two weeks ago. I am writing this while my memory is still fresh with pain and suffering. This is a product of tears shed from yesterday and today. And yes, this is about LOVE or something akin to it. Again. Hahaha.. That was a sarcastic laugh by the way.

It started with Mr. X who texted Ms. Y because he couldn’t sleep. You might say that everything began with insomnia. And yes, Ms. Y is yours truly. So, to be brief about it, Mr. X and Ms. Y were attracted to each other. Maybe because Mr. X was such a smooth talker. Or maybe because Mr. X was just plain talkative and that is what Ms. Y likes. So in any case, they started talking about every minute detail of their lives in just one phone call and they decided that they suit. And in comes the virtual kisses and hugs, and I believe I forgot to mention the sweet nothings whispered to each other’s ears while Ms. Y clutches her mobile and rolls in bed with "kiligness". It even came to a point where Mr. X promises Ms. Y that he’ll go home with her when she gets her vacation leave. And if memory serves me right, there is also a mention of Mr. X doing the old-fashioned — I call it fetching-water-from-the-water-pump act even though Ms. Y lives in a subdivision and not a farm. They have a water pump for emergency purposes though.

So one might assume that Mr. X will offer for Ms. Y. Like the equation, (Mr. X + Ms. Y) = (BF + GF). If you fail to see the logic in this, you might have failed College Algebra. Also, let’s add in a fact that Mr. X told Ms. Y that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Ms. Y believes that to be true at this point in time.

Ms. Y’s friends did say that she has to guard herself against Mr. X. She might only get hurt.

And so after a whole week of great expectations - Ms. Y even had her legs waxed - a very painful experience I assure you and had her hair and nails done, it finally come to pass that they will meet. Yey! Finally. Unfortunately, Ms. Y asked a very innocent question. Innocent because Ms. Y believes that there’s really nothing wrong with setting one’s expectations properly. Ms. Y does work in a call center and realizes this very important fact.

The question was, "Does Mr. X plan to just see Ms. Y or does he also plan to have sex with her?"

Take note that Mr. X has different perceptions of sex. F*&king is just a physical act much like defecating. Having sex is the physical act with passion involved. Making love is, of course, having sex with emotions and affections involved.

Ms. Y doesn’t know what exactly happened but Mr. X got his panties all in a twist about that. I mean that figuratively since Mr. X is a guy and he doesn’t wear panties but boxers instead. Mr. X now will not meet up with Ms. Y. So Ms. Y is confused and a bit ticked off since she went through all that trouble to please Mr. X.

So after numerous phone calls and two long conversations, Ms. Y found out that the main reason why Mr. X did not meet up with her is because Mr. X was a bit insulted and actually has no plans of having sex with Ms. Y. Mr. X was in fact only testing Ms. Y’s resolve. Tsk. Tsk. This actually led to Ms. Y baring her soul to Mr. X by telling him the dirty details of her secret life. I am not going to divulge the dirty details though. It’s a secret like I said. Mr. X actually seems to understand what Ms. Y is going through and that Ms. Y admits to having low self-esteem and low self-confidence even though Ms. Y has above-average intelligence, a strong personality and a good heart. Ms. Y’s opinion, of course, is that she’s just plain stupid who doesn’t really know any better when it comes to men.

It came to pass that Ms. Y actually shed tears, for the first time in years, of self-pity and remorse and of self-hate. And of asking God why does this happen. Of course, God doesn’t really answer. He has heard this before.

Mr. X, despite the fact that he made Ms. Y cry, actually taught Ms. Y a valuable lesson about herself.

The end of these conversations from Ms. Y’s perception, went really well, since everything was actually back to normal again. Put in the virtual kisses and hugs, plus the sweet nothings again. Mr. X seems to be playing some kind of Jedi-mind trick on her psyche.

The morning after, they finally meet. Ms. Y plays the meek girl from the province act. She does this so as not to offend Mr. X with her coarseness. And of course, Mr. X is actually really good-looking. Ms. Y felt inadequate and unworthy of the bounty set before her. Mr. X took offense in this believing that Ms. Y doesn’t really like him because he is "dark, ugly, fat and short" which is actually so untrue.

Ms. Y of course sought to soothe Mr. X’s bruised ego telling him that he’s neither of those things. Mr. X unfortunately will not believe Ms. Y. Ms. Y, for the very first time in her life, actually BEGGED, yes, begged for Mr. X’s affections. Such debasement is actually totally unheard of Ms. Y who has always prided herself in not begging for anything and just letting things be.

Mr. X told Ms. Y to move on. To let things be. Now Ms. Y asked him why.

The answer? Mr. X actually failed to informed Ms. Y that he has a Ms. Z. Aka the official girlfriend. Now, Mr. X is a liar. The reason? Because Ms. Y may not want to talk to Mr. X if he has Ms. Z already.

Ms. Y was in denial at this point. She fails to see the reason why Mr. X placed her in a position like this. Is it because Mr. X has a lot of time in his hands and just wants to play? Ms. Y could have accepted that. Mr. X actually denies that he is playing and that everything he said during their conversations is true. That Mr. X is attracted to Ms. Y. Except the no-girlfriend part.

Mr. X admits to his faults. And wakes up to the fact that nothing can come of this dalliance except a lot of pain and suffering for all involved.

Ms. Y agrees because she does still believe in love.

Mr. X says he is a really good friend but a bad boyfriend.

Now, Mr. X has given Ms. Y a choice. Friends or none at all. Is it better for Ms. Y not to ever hear from him again? Or is it better for Ms. Y to be friends with Mr. X?

Ms. Y chose to be friends with Mr. X. Because she still believes in the goodness of people. She still believes that Mr. X is telling her the truth. Ms. Y tells Mr. X never to do this again. It’s bad karma. Yeah, chalk it up to bad karma.

They’re friends. Just friends.

The end?

Sure, Ms. Y is hurting and her heart is breaking into pieces right now. But she has already moved on. She has learned a very valuable lesson this month. She has learned that she should never sell herself short. She has learned that trust is really earned. She has learned that loneliness can be the cause of a lot of heartache. And she has learned that someone will come along and dump really cold water on you to make you realize your mistakes in the most unlikely of times.